


paralysis and pyros

by wilfre



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Sleep Paralysis, Unmasked Pyro, i still havent figured out my inhuman unmasked pyro headcanon so heres my human one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 06:25:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16613645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilfre/pseuds/wilfre
Summary: engineer finds pyro in the middle of the night, grief-stricken after a bout of sleep paralysis, and brings them to his room to talk. they unexpectedly reveal a part of their past.





	paralysis and pyros

“Darn it!”

Engineer muttered to himself as he reached down under his desk to pick up a screw he had dropped. It was late; he was working on a project and getting a bit cranky, but he was in the zone, and there was no way he would stop until he was finished.

Well, at least that’s what he thought.

He nearly jumped upon hearing sudden, fast footsteps blast down the hallway.

“Scout,” he grumbled, putting his tools down and getting up to tell him a thing or two about being respectful when other people are trying to sleep (or work, in his case). He exited his room and followed the distant sound of someone… crying? It eventually led him outside, and he shivered as he was hit by a gust of the cool night air. He was surprised to round the corner and find Pyro kneeling in the dirt, still clad in their pajamas, holding a piece of paper in one hand, desperately trying to flick on their lighter with the other.

“Py, you alright?” Engineer murmured, and they jerked, unaware of his presence until he spoke. Once they processed who was standing there, they dropped the paper and quickly shoved the lighter in their pocket before practically leaping up and throwing themself into his arms. They let out a muffled scream into his chest, their arms desperately wrapped around him in a tight embrace.

“Whoah, whoah—” Engie returned the embrace, trying to comfort them by rubbing their back. “Hey, hey, it’s alright, son, c’mon, let’s get you back inside.” He led them back into the base and started navigating his way through the dark hallway back to his room when they unexpectedly collided with someone.

“Hey, watch it pal!”

As Engie’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he recognized the figure in front of them as Scout.

“What are you bozos doin’ out here?” Scout narrowed his eyes, obviously a bit flustered at his late-night expedition being interrupted. “Before you say it, yes, I know you could ask me the same question. But — Yo, hey, is mumbles alright?” He finally noticed how the firebug was nestled into Engineer’s chest, a faint snivel coming from behind their mask.

“I’m not sure what happened,” Engie explained, “and I don’t like makin’ assumptions but I’m sure they’re feelin’ overwhelmed right now and don’t wanna stay and chat. Sorry, but we gotta get goin’.”

“Oh — Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry,” he mumbled awkwardly, stepping out of the way. “Uhhh.. I uh, hope you feel better, Pyro.” He offered them a sympathetic smile as they shuffled past.

They made it back to Engineer’s room without further incident, and once they were inside, Pyro’s soft whimpers escalated to a loud, yet muffled sob. They flopped down onto Engineer’s loveseat, bringing their knees up to their chest and almost closing in on themself. At a bit of a loss of what to do, he lit a few candles as he thought of what to say. That might help them feel calmer, right?

His actions paid off; Pyro looked up and seemed distracted from their stressor as they watched the dancing flames.

“Hudda..” They watched as Engie carried one over, placing it on the coffee table in front of them before taking a seat.

“What happened, Py?” he asked, gently placing a hand on their shoulder. “D’ya wanna talk about it?” He immediately regretted it as Pyro flinched at the touch, but relief quickly washed over him as they uttered a muffled apology and leaned back into him.

They wrung their hands together for a moment, looking around everywhere, anywhere, except into Engineer’s eyes.

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay, I just—”

“Mmph!” they quickly exclaimed, shaking their head. So they _did_ wanna talk about it. Something was holding them back.

They started looking around again before settling on concentrating on the candle. Engineer heard a deep, audible inhale and exhale come from behind their mask, and his eyes widened as they reached up and started pulling the said mask off.

This was not the scenario he imagined finally seeing their face in, and definitely not how they expected them to look, either. For one, he didn’t think their face would be a tear-stricken mess.

He slowly took in their features, one by one. Their skin was light brown and freckled, with lighter blotches of burn scars accenting the bottom and left side of their face. They had gorgeous, dark brown, almost black, hooded eyes, with golden flecks. They were a bit red and puffy from their crying, but they were still perfect. Their hair, which had popped out of the mask last with an almost comedic _poof_ , was thick and curly, black locks stopping just below their ears. They had a slim, hooked nose, and, Engineer noted with glee: _an underbite, just like me!_

“Oh,” was all he could say once he found his voice. It came out a bit gruff, and he cleared his throat, only to repeat it again. “Oh.”

“I had a nightmare,” they began, eyebrows furrowing. Their voice was right between soft and gravelly. “The nightmare wasn’t _too_ bad, but I woke up and I couldn’t move.” _Sleep paralysis,_ Engineer recognized. He nodded for them to go on. “And—” They teared up again. “And these.. These _monsters_ came from the shadows of my room, and they held me down, and I could feel the pressure, and I still couldn’t move or talk or do anything, and—” They choked up and paused for a second, wiping their tears away and collecting themself as best as they could before continuing. “Another monster came and got into my bed. They sat on my chest, a-and their face was _this_ close to mine—” They held their hand a few inches from their face for emphasis, “—and I closed my eyes, but I could still feel their presence and this awful, crushing sense of dread… I opened my eyes, and the monster had turned into… this person I used to know, this awful, terrible person… But their face was all warped and grotesque and horrible, and it started melting as they spoke. And… and they said, ‘I’m going to find you, Ángel, you know that, right? No matter how far you run, how much you disguise yourself, you can’t hide from me.’”

They shuddered and shut their eyes, but tears continued to escape. When they opened them again, Engineer’s heart almost broke at the pained, desolate look in them. They pointed at the burn scars running up their neck and lightly grazing their face, “They did that to me. Because of how much I like fire.” Their gaze cast downward as they idly ran their gloved fingers over the leathery skin. “They thought I was a freak. They turned what I loved against me. And because of them, I did this..”

Engie watched curiously as they peeled off the gloves and rolled their sleeves up. His heart sank as they held their wrists out, revealing dozens of self-inflicted scars. There was a long vertical one on their right wrist, dotted scars left from stitches surrounding it. Without thinking, Engineer gently grasped their wrist in one hand, using the other to feel the scar. Pyro tensed up a bit, but didn’t pull away.

“Some of these are.. fairly recent,” he observed, noting the light pink color of a few scars. “I’m not sure what to say.. Just.. I’m so sorry, Py. I had no idea you were hurtin’ like this. You’re the most cheerful out of all the mercenaries, I would’ve never guessed.”

“I..” They tried to speak, but their voice got caught in their throat, their lip trembling. They opted to scoot forward and wrap their arms around him, practically sitting in his lap at this point. He held them close, rubbing their back and resting his chin on top of their head as they buried their face into his chest. He could feel tears starting to soak through his shirt.

“It’s alright, darlin’,” he murmured softly, trying to soothe them. “Let it out. I’m here.”

“I just..” They sniffled, still holding onto him for dear life. “They haunt me. Every time I think it’s over, that they don’t affect me anymore.. Something like _this_ happens. And I go through everything all over again. I couldn’t sleep after what happened tonight, I didn’t even want to, all I could do was lay in bed and think. Think about them, think about what they did, what they said… How they made me feel about myself, how they twisted my self image and made me feel like… like DIRT!” The last word was a shaky shout; tears streamed endlessly down their face and they clenched Engineer’s shirt in their hands. “I’m awful, Engie. I’m awful.” Their grip on his shirt tightened as they curled up and continued quietly hissing _awful, awful, awful_ to themself.

“Pyro, please,” he ran his fingers through their hair, tilting their chin up so they made eye contact. He wiped their tears away and brushed the curls out of their face before continuing, “Please don’t say that. You’re not awful, Py, you’re so wonderful. That person is in the past, and I know it’s hard, but you can’t let them control you in the present. You’re safe here, Py, they won’t get you. You have eight other badass contract killers on your side.” His heart swelled as he earned a tiny smile from the firebug. “Even when our job’s over, when we go back to our normal lives — as normal as they can be after doin’ a job like this — we’ll still be there for you at the snap of your fingers. We’re always gonna be here for one another, all nine of us. We all love each other, Pyro. We’re all one big, weird family, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Pyro was crying again, but this time, with a smile on their face that could’ve lit up the whole room. Happy tears.

“Thank you, Engie,” they murmured, nuzzling into his chest again. “I.. I really needed to hear that. I’m glad you found me tonight.”

“I’m glad I did too, partner.” He ran a hand through their hair again, wrapping a finger around a curl, and he could’ve sworn he heard them purr.

“I’m tired,” they mumbled into his shirt.

“D’ya want me to take you back to your r—”

“No!” they exclaimed, looking up at him with wide eyes. They looked a bit embarrassed at their sudden outburst, and shied away while saying a soft apology. “I mean, I… Thank you for the offer, but…” They fumbled with their gloves, again looking anywhere but into his eyes. “Would you mind if I stayed in here tonight? I don’t wanna be alone..”

“Of course!” Engineer was surprised they were worked up over something so simple, especially after they’d just poured their heart out to him. “Go ahead and take the bed, d’ya want me to run and get Balloonicorn for you?”

“I — I can sleep on the couch, it’s no big deal..”

“You’re the guest!” he insisted, taking them by the hand and practically pushing them into his bed. “I want you to be comfortable.”

“If you’re sure it’s okay,” they murmured meekly. “...Could you get Balloonicorn?”

“Of course, doll.” He blew out the candles. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

 

By the time he returned, Pyro was snuggled up comfortably under the covers. They had made a little nest out of his pillows and blankets and assured him they’d make the bed in the morning. They squealed as he held out Balloonicorn towards them, accepting it with glee and wrapping their arms around it. Engineer took out an extra pillow and blanket for himself, then turned off the lights before settling down on the couch.

“Night, Py.”

“Goodnight, Engie,” they mumbled from under the covers.

**Author's Note:**

> heres a rough doodle of my pyro headcanon: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/479684283254964229/512043898382843904/1542151137615.png


End file.
